I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
