Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
