ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
