Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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