Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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