I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
