There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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