If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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