"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
