rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you would pick up someone in the library
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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