put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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