His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
