Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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