so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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