I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
