I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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