Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
