My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
