At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
