Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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