And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
