eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet