Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
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we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
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She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?