David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
