at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?