and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize