Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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