If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
