she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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