At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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