after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
