He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
