There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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