that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
