the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
