they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.