somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
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You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
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That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe