If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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