Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
