the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
