You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
