He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
