Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
