I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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