I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
