he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
