No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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