possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
