ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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