At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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