I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
