Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
