And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
