Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
