Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
COCAINE IS GR8
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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