So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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