his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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