did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize