I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
