with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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