in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
