How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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