help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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