I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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