I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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