I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The air taste purple.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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