I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
