wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
