can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
